Wellbeing Weekly: Bullying

What is bullying?

• Are aggressive, unkind or mean behaviours that are one-sided
• Are repeated behaviours
• Happen on purpose/are deliberate
• Must have a power imbalance – e.g. someone who is older or bigger people picking on smaller, younger people, or ‘popular’ people targeting someone who they see as being ‘unpopular’, or a group targeting one person
• Causes harm - this can be physical (e.g. bruises), psychological (e.g. distress) or social (e.g. losing friends)

• Being rude – saying or doing something hurtful that wasn’t planned or meant to hurt someone, e.g. someone pushing in front of you in the canteen line
• Being mean – doing something hurtful to someone on purpose once or twice, e.g. a friend refusing to hang out with you one day
• Conflict: there's a disagreement, both sides are aggressive/mean and there's no power imbalance (both sides can 'stand up' for themselves or fight back), e.g. two friends getting into an argument or fight and saying mean things to each other
• Respectful feedback on behaviours you're doing that aren’t ok, e.g. “It’s not ok roll your eyes every time they talk about sport.”
• A friend putting in a boundary e.g. “I don't like it when you keep telling me what to do.”
• Natural consequences in socialising, e.g. a friend not trusting you because you shared their secret

• 29-40% of young people report being bullied frequently
• Face-to-face bullying is still more common than cyberbullying
• Verbal and social bullying are the most common forms

• Embarrassing comments disguised as jokes
• Friendship manipulation
• Subtle put-downs
• Rumours
• Social isolation / deliberate exclusion

• Remains calm
• Asks open questions
• Validates their feelings
• Avoids immediate judgment
• Listen and understand before jumping into solutions
• Focus on the impact, not just the behaviour